Me: When are you going to finish your Dirver’s Ed CDs?
Devoted Daughter: Don’t worry about it, Dad.
Me: Darling. You’ve been telling me that for the last six months.
Devoted Daughter: Dad, I’ve got to do 32 hours of coursework on the Driver’s Ed CD. I cannot do it in one day.
Me: I’ll tell you a little story. When I worked as roughneck on the rigs, my boss was a driller named George. George, when I was working slowly, used to say, “God d##m%t Bethancourt, a 30 minute job would take you half an hour!”
Devoted Daughter:
Me:
Devoted Daughter:
Me:
Devoted Daughter: And your point is?
Me: George was trying to tell me that 30 minute jobs should not take me half an hour. He fully expected me to finish 30 minute jobs in around 10 minutes.
Devoted Daughter: Dad… Lots of kids take longer than 30 minutes to do half hours jobs.
Me: Darling, If I thought you were only average… if I thought you were only capable of modest improvements in performance… if I thought you should be satisfied with being better than lots of kids… then I’d let it slide.
Devoted Daughter:
Me:
Devoted Daughter:
Me:
Devoted Daughter: ok. Maybe I get that.
Me: Oh dear Jesus and sweet baby Jesus! I think we just made a connection.
Devoted Daughter: You’re not going to get all mushy on me now, Are you?
Me: Oh hell, no.
Devoted Daughter: Cool.
Me. Cool.